Creating Healthy Distance from Negative Thoughts Through Mindfulness

Negative thoughts can feel overwhelming and convincing. When you tell yourself, "I'm a failure," it often feels like an undeniable truth. This kind of thinking can weigh heavily on your mood and self-esteem. But what if there was a simple way to step back and see these thoughts for what they really are—just thoughts, not facts? Mindfulness offers a practical exercise to create a healthy distance from negative thoughts, helping you reduce their impact.

Creating space for mindful reflection in a garden

Understanding the Power of Thoughts

Our minds generate thousands of thoughts every day. Many of these thoughts are automatic and often go unnoticed. Some thoughts are positive, others negative. When negative thoughts dominate, they can shape how we feel and behave. For example, thinking "I'm a failure" can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness.

The problem is that we often accept these thoughts as facts. When you say "I'm a failure," you make a value judgment about yourself. This judgment can feel permanent and true, even though it is just one perspective.

What Does It Mean to Create Distance from Thoughts?

Creating distance means recognizing that thoughts are mental events, not absolute truths. When you create space between yourself and your thoughts, you reduce their emotional power. This allows you to respond more calmly and clearly rather than reacting automatically.

Mindfulness practices help you observe your thoughts without judgment. This awareness helps you see thoughts as passing experiences, not defining features of who you are.

The Simple Mindfulness Exercise

A straightforward exercise from The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Stress Reduction offers a way to practice this distance. It involves adding a phrase before your thought to remind yourself it is just a thought.

Try this:

1. Read the sentence:

   "I'm a failure."

   Notice how it feels. This statement is direct and absolute.

   
   

2. Now read:

   "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure."

   Notice the difference. This sentence separates you from the thought. It acknowledges the thought without fully accepting it as truth.

   
   

By using the phrase "I'm having the thought that...," you create a buffer. This buffer helps you see the thought as something your mind is producing, not a fact about you.

Why This Exercise Works

This exercise works because it changes your relationship with your thoughts. Instead of being caught up in the content of the thought, you become aware of the process of thinking itself. This awareness reduces the intensity of negative emotions linked to the thought.

For example, if you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," adding the phrase turns it into, "I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough." This shift can make the thought feel less threatening and easier to let go.

Practical Tips for Using This Exercise

• Practice regularly. Try this exercise whenever you notice a negative thought. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.

• Use it in stressful moments. When anxiety or self-doubt arises, pause and apply the phrase.

• Combine with deep breathing. Taking a few slow breaths while doing this can enhance calmness.

• Write it down. Sometimes writing the thought with the phrase helps make the distance clearer.

• Be patient. Changing how you relate to thoughts takes time and practice.

  
  

Real-Life Example

Imagine you have a presentation at work and start thinking, "I'm going to mess up." This thought can increase your anxiety and make you less confident. Instead, try saying to yourself, "I'm having the thought that I'm going to mess up." This reminds you that the thought is just a mental event, not a prediction of the future. You might feel less anxious and more able to focus on preparing.

How Mindfulness Supports Mental Health

Mindfulness encourages observing thoughts without judgment. This practice helps reduce rumination, the habit of repeatedly thinking about negative experiences. By creating distance from thoughts, mindfulness can lower stress and improve emotional resilience.

Research shows that mindfulness-based approaches can help with anxiety, depression, and stress management. This simple exercise is one practical tool within that broader approach.

Start Creating Distance Today

Negative thoughts do not have to control your feelings or actions. By recognizing thoughts as just thoughts, you gain freedom to choose how to respond. The phrase "I'm having the thought that..." is a small but powerful step toward that freedom.

Try this exercise the next time a negative thought arises. Notice how it changes your experience. Over time, you may find yourself less caught up in harsh self-judgments and more able to focus on what matters.

Your mind is not your enemy. It is a tool you can learn to use with awareness and kindness.

Shawn Marie Cichowski NBC-HWB Professional Behavioral Coach, CBT Coach

WNY Life Coaching Center Contact us @ wnylifecoaching.com 716-560-6552